You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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