Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
3 2 1 whiskey
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
