fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
