Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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