if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize