So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
