it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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