the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
