How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize