perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
