I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
