my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
