Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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