Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We have started to decorate penises.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
