i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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