My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
its not stalking. its research.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
