Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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