I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
