All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
