She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize