WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
