Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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