We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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