I could make wine with my vomit
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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