how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize