The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
