Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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