I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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