Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
