Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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