I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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