I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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