I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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