woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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