Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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