he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize