wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
i out mim tonsoeep
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