how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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