It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
