guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
