Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
