Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
If I die, sorry about rent.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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