I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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