Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
