her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
