oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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