he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
