Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
