i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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