physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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