She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
