And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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