i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
