his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It's rum buckets o'clock
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
