Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
