1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
