I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
