In the future we'll all be gay
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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