were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
