she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
