I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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