i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
