How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize