A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
