Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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