I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
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