Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
