So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
