Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
