she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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